Never Good Enough

I don't know why, how I have become such an introvert. I love making people close to me feel special, and on the other hand, I don't even think I matter much, or am special for anyone to the extent they are. I feel like I am not good enough. For anything, any work, any one. And if not a disappointment to others, to myself. 

I used ignore or argue when people used to comment on me or anything. But now, I just agree. And not only agree, I have started believing in what they say. A girl tells me "People leave you, 'cause they get sick and tired of you" and I have no other option, than to agree with her. I doubt if someone ever calls me a loser, I will do/say anything about it. Guess, I'll just smile, and nod in agreeement. I don't know how, when, why. I just don't EVER feel good enough. I feel like a huge disappointment, to my family, friends and everyone around. I keep comparing myself to people, sometimes, and I am never the one who is any better than any one. Even the people with the worst deeds, and worst hearts. I feel like I am not good enough, in fact never was, and never will be. The sole reason why people always tend to leave, is they get sick of me, and I am trying my best that people don't get bored of me, now. But they do, and they will, sooner or later. I want to get hurt. A car accident, Anything. I want to get injured enough to wind up in a hospital, just to see if anyone would come to make sure that I am okay. And I'd pretend to be sleeping or, dying, so in case, anyone actually did come, they would sit at the edge of my bed, crying, and tell me everything they've ever thought about me, how they really feel, if they're sorry for anything, I want to know how much I matter. I want to know the truth.