I swore on you, that I won't cry.
But I ended up crying. Way too much, than I have in past few months.
And I am sick of people telling me that you're hurting me, or that I should get over you.
'Cause NO, you are not. What hurts me, is not being with you. Not being around you.
What hurts the most is not being able to know, how you are doing.
THAT is what's hurting me.
You are not, rather, even if you tried you can't.
So the day started with me arguing with a friend, and me ending up changing my seat in my Science class.
Oh yeah, the rains, not to forget.
Love how the same water falling from the sky can make you extremely happy or extremely sad.
It was filled with sadness today.
And that wasn't enough, I ended up going to the restroom, and crying my eyes out, after listening to the lines of this song:
And when I'm gone
Who will you blame?
I can't go on
And let you lose it all
It's more than I can take
Who'll ease your pain?
Ease your pain
And I was thinking about how you were, wondering how you are, at that VERY moment, more than I was, already. It has become a necessity of my life to know that you're fine. Somehow. And I feel restless if I don't get to know it. Very Restless.
I just had this urge to know if you were doing fine or not, at that very moment, and then I felt helpless 'cause I can't do anything about it.
That wasn't enough.
I ended up almost arguing with my best friend, and she ended up telling me "do whatever makes you happy, Goodbye"
and I couldn't reply to it. Because nothing really does. Nothing makes me happy. Absolutely nothing. Yes, there are many things that make me smile throughout the day, but nothing actually makes me happy, I am sorry. I know the reason you are not with me anymore, is for me to be happy, but I am not able to be happy. No matter what.
It feels like years have passed I haven't been all crazy with you.
Nothing really matters anymore.
I am just OKAY with everything happening.
I want people to just let me be, 'cause sooner or later they'll get sick of me being like this.
so, I might as well drive 'em away, myself.
Now I know how you felt, when you told me you don't need friends or anyone, at all.
I exactly feel the pain. Believe it or not, I do.
I don't know how worse tomorrow is gonna be, but I am pretty sure, it's not going to be any good whatsoever. I have gone mad. And the weird part is, I like being like this. It feels like I am dedicated to the one I love, and it makes me proud of myself.
And the people who wanna stay with me, can accept me like this, or can leave. Not stopping anyone. Everyone's free to go.
No more tears, 'cause ALL it does is let your emotions out, and I don't want to, rather can't take this emotion out. I am Sorry.
Farewell. (:
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